This will be short because I don't feel like sitting at the computer, but I just need to say that people who were verbally, mentally, and emotionally abused suffer just as much as people who were beaten. Just because they never had black eyes or broken bones doesn't mean that they weren't beaten and broken down.
It's so easy for people to just ignore or not care about what someone did because they never hit anyone. Whatever. That's fine. You go ahead and be best god damn friends with that asshole, I'm not going to tell you what you should or should not do. But don't think for one second that I'm going to like it. I don't easily forgive, and I definitely don't forget.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
A List of...
...Things That I Hate
I was reading a thread about this on a message board, and decided to make my own list because it seems as though there are about a billion things in life that I hate or that drive me absolutely batty, and other people seem to have no problem with. So, in no particular order...
-Beer. Every kind. They all taste the same to me, and they're all gross.
-When people assume that I want their advice. I don't. If I did, I would ask for it.
-On the same note, when people assume that I want to hear their horror stories about something I'm about to do for myself. I really don't want to hear about how your neighbor's second cousin's friend was in active labor for 30 hours and ended up having an emergency C section because she couldn't push anymore. Please, spare me.
-People butting their noses into things that they have absolutely no reason to involved in. Also, people who only ask how you're doing just so they can gossip about whatever you say.
-Driving less than the speed limit.
-Parking crooked.
-Shag carpet.
-All the spit globs outside of gas station doors.
-Amish. I shouldn't be prejudiced, but they just really piss me off.
-When people say their going to do something, and then don't.
-Band Aids. I hate anything sticky like that to touch me. It grosses me out.
-Old people in store who feel the need to pay with exact change, or with all change, and take forever in line.
-People in the military who think they are infinitely better, smarter and more important just because they have stripes on their uniform.
-Prior military who think they are better than the rest of the world because they served.
-Other peoples' kids. That may sound cruel, but there are really very few kids that I actually like.
-Actually, there are not a lot of adults that I actually like either.
-"Pets" that are not really pets...snakes, spiders, rodents. (Sorry Colen)
-People who shove their religion down others' throats. I HATE that. Also, people who judge others purely based on their beliefs.
-When a song I like gets overplayed on the radio and hearing it so many times makes it annoying.
-Commercials.
-Trying to call somewhere and doing nothing but going in circles with some automated options that don't lead anywhere.
-The watery, slimy stuff that comes out of a ketchup bottle before the ketchup does.
-Ice in drinks.
-People letting their kids run wild at buffets, where they put their nasty grubby hands all over everything.
-Big dogs. You can tell me till you're blue in the face that your particular beast of a canine is the sweetest dog in the world, but I will still be afraid of it and hate it.
-Orange.
-PT Cruisers. They look like mini-hearses.
-Speaking of, when people don't stop for funeral processions.
-People who think claustrophobia isn't a real phobia. Wanna bet motherfucker?
-Basketball. Stupidest sport ever.
-People who think the military is really the way it's portrayed in movies.
-People who protest military funerals. They should be kicked in the face.
-People who are happy and cheerful ALL the time.
-The smell of hospitals.
-Waiting rooms.
-Hand and finger prints on glass doors when there is obviously a metal bar there that is meant to put your hands on.
-Cleaning showers. I think I'd rather clean the toilet.
-Public bathrooms.
-Everything involved with airports and airplanes.
-Putting gas in a vehicle, and not being able to get the smell of gas off your hands for hours.
-Humidity.
-Rich people thinking their better than the rest of us.
-Liars.
-Vegans.
-Super skinny people. Eat some real food and stop making the rest of us look bad.
-Glasses. Only on me though...I don't care what you do with your face.
-That feeling when you're completely out of place with the people you're with, and knowing that they're only being nice to you because they have to.
-Having to be nice to people you don't like.
-Loiterers...people who think that sidewalks, store aisles and entry ways, are the perfect place to stop and have a conversation.
-Hitler mustaches.
-Dirty dishes.
-Giant gold hoop earrings.
-Any oversized jewelry.
-Nasally voices. Just don't talk to me.
-People who have 12 kids and live off welfare checks ONLY because they're too lazy to go get a job.
-Dreadlocks.
-Cornrows. It freaks me out to see someone's scalp.
-When people pronounce things wrong. For example, the assholes who say "melk" instead of "milk" or "windle" instead of "window". This drives me INSANE.
-Body odor. Seriously...showering is not that hard. Stick an air freshener in between your fat rolls if you have to.
-Enormous people driving teeny tiny little midget cars like a Geo.
-People who let their kids get fat. It's unhealthy and bad parenting, IMO.
-When people say "Moo-cows". Dude. It's a cow. Nothing more.
-Unnecessary noise. Such as the kids who live below us running back and forth like a heard of elephants.
-AM radio.
-Pointy shoes. Ugh.
-Designer purses, especially when they're the size of a suitcase.
-I'm going to make a whole separate list of foods that I can't stand. There are a lot.
-Pickles.
-Seafood. Just the smell makes me gag.
-Any meat that has more than a tiny bit of pink in the center.
-Potato salad.
-Tator tot salad.
-Fish sticks.
-Mayonnaise.
-Soy sauce, worchestershire sauce (no idea if that's spelled even close to right), steak sauce. Pretty much everything that isn't ketchup, barbeque sauce, or ranch.
-Chili. And don't tell me that *your* chili is different and I'll like it. I won't.
-Green beans.
-Peanuts. Ew.
I was reading a thread about this on a message board, and decided to make my own list because it seems as though there are about a billion things in life that I hate or that drive me absolutely batty, and other people seem to have no problem with. So, in no particular order...
-Beer. Every kind. They all taste the same to me, and they're all gross.
-When people assume that I want their advice. I don't. If I did, I would ask for it.
-On the same note, when people assume that I want to hear their horror stories about something I'm about to do for myself. I really don't want to hear about how your neighbor's second cousin's friend was in active labor for 30 hours and ended up having an emergency C section because she couldn't push anymore. Please, spare me.
-People butting their noses into things that they have absolutely no reason to involved in. Also, people who only ask how you're doing just so they can gossip about whatever you say.
-Driving less than the speed limit.
-Parking crooked.
-Shag carpet.
-All the spit globs outside of gas station doors.
-Amish. I shouldn't be prejudiced, but they just really piss me off.
-When people say their going to do something, and then don't.
-Band Aids. I hate anything sticky like that to touch me. It grosses me out.
-Old people in store who feel the need to pay with exact change, or with all change, and take forever in line.
-People in the military who think they are infinitely better, smarter and more important just because they have stripes on their uniform.
-Prior military who think they are better than the rest of the world because they served.
-Other peoples' kids. That may sound cruel, but there are really very few kids that I actually like.
-Actually, there are not a lot of adults that I actually like either.
-"Pets" that are not really pets...snakes, spiders, rodents. (Sorry Colen)
-People who shove their religion down others' throats. I HATE that. Also, people who judge others purely based on their beliefs.
-When a song I like gets overplayed on the radio and hearing it so many times makes it annoying.
-Commercials.
-Trying to call somewhere and doing nothing but going in circles with some automated options that don't lead anywhere.
-The watery, slimy stuff that comes out of a ketchup bottle before the ketchup does.
-Ice in drinks.
-People letting their kids run wild at buffets, where they put their nasty grubby hands all over everything.
-Big dogs. You can tell me till you're blue in the face that your particular beast of a canine is the sweetest dog in the world, but I will still be afraid of it and hate it.
-Orange.
-PT Cruisers. They look like mini-hearses.
-Speaking of, when people don't stop for funeral processions.
-People who think claustrophobia isn't a real phobia. Wanna bet motherfucker?
-Basketball. Stupidest sport ever.
-People who think the military is really the way it's portrayed in movies.
-People who protest military funerals. They should be kicked in the face.
-People who are happy and cheerful ALL the time.
-The smell of hospitals.
-Waiting rooms.
-Hand and finger prints on glass doors when there is obviously a metal bar there that is meant to put your hands on.
-Cleaning showers. I think I'd rather clean the toilet.
-Public bathrooms.
-Everything involved with airports and airplanes.
-Putting gas in a vehicle, and not being able to get the smell of gas off your hands for hours.
-Humidity.
-Rich people thinking their better than the rest of us.
-Liars.
-Vegans.
-Super skinny people. Eat some real food and stop making the rest of us look bad.
-Glasses. Only on me though...I don't care what you do with your face.
-That feeling when you're completely out of place with the people you're with, and knowing that they're only being nice to you because they have to.
-Having to be nice to people you don't like.
-Loiterers...people who think that sidewalks, store aisles and entry ways, are the perfect place to stop and have a conversation.
-Hitler mustaches.
-Dirty dishes.
-Giant gold hoop earrings.
-Any oversized jewelry.
-Nasally voices. Just don't talk to me.
-People who have 12 kids and live off welfare checks ONLY because they're too lazy to go get a job.
-Dreadlocks.
-Cornrows. It freaks me out to see someone's scalp.
-When people pronounce things wrong. For example, the assholes who say "melk" instead of "milk" or "windle" instead of "window". This drives me INSANE.
-Body odor. Seriously...showering is not that hard. Stick an air freshener in between your fat rolls if you have to.
-Enormous people driving teeny tiny little midget cars like a Geo.
-People who let their kids get fat. It's unhealthy and bad parenting, IMO.
-When people say "Moo-cows". Dude. It's a cow. Nothing more.
-Unnecessary noise. Such as the kids who live below us running back and forth like a heard of elephants.
-AM radio.
-Pointy shoes. Ugh.
-Designer purses, especially when they're the size of a suitcase.
-I'm going to make a whole separate list of foods that I can't stand. There are a lot.
-Pickles.
-Seafood. Just the smell makes me gag.
-Any meat that has more than a tiny bit of pink in the center.
-Potato salad.
-Tator tot salad.
-Fish sticks.
-Mayonnaise.
-Soy sauce, worchestershire sauce (no idea if that's spelled even close to right), steak sauce. Pretty much everything that isn't ketchup, barbeque sauce, or ranch.
-Chili. And don't tell me that *your* chili is different and I'll like it. I won't.
-Green beans.
-Peanuts. Ew.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
It ain't always easy...
Why is doing the right thing sometimes so hard? Tonight I stood up for what I knew was the right, best, smartest, most responsible decision, even though it caused a lot of drama. At the time, it wasn't hard. I knew what I had to do, and did it. But dealing with the aftermath was definitely not fun. And I'm sure it's not over. Tomorrow will probably bring on a whole new wave of anger. Oh well I guess. I did what's best for me and my son. And that's what counts, right?
Friday, July 16, 2010
Well, that was scary.
So about 2 hours ago I had this intense pain in my lower abdomen. It was kind of like a cramp, but really intense. It dropped me to my knees instantly. It lasted a few minutes, and then went away. Of course I did what any home-alone pregnant woman would do - panicked. I think it was a Braxton Hicks contraction, but I'm not sure because everything I've read said that they should only cause "discomfort" and not actual pain. Well let me tell you, that hurt. A lot. So I wrote down the time and if it happens again...well, I don't know. I'd like to be able to call somewhere and ask if I should be worried, but the only places open are emergency rooms. Of course it had to happen on a Friday :/ And I meant to call the insurance people today and see of that was approved yet, and I forgot to. So now I'm screwed until Monday. All I know is that they better get this shit figured out soon because I need to go to the damn doctor. I haven't had any real pain since earlier, just the normal achiness. I guess for now we'll just wait and see if anything happens. I don't think it will, but who knows. It makes me wonder if I shouldn't just stay home tomorrow instead of going out of town. But Mom won't be around anyway, so maybe it's just as well that I'm with Andy...Ugh, I don't know.
Frosting
*Title has nothing to do with what I'm going to write about. I just happen to be eating strawberry frosting out of the can*
It seems kind of lame to be starting a new post just seconds after I published the first one, but like I said, it's 2 a.m. and I can't sleep.
I've been thinking a lot lately about the passage of time. It amazes me that the same span of time can seem to hugely different depending on the circumstances. For example, a month ago I became a civilian after spending a little over 3 years in the Army. These last 30 days have gone by insanely fast. I can honestly say that they went by faster than ANY month of time while I was still in. It just seems so strange. The last year has gone by fast though. In less than a month Andy and I will have been married for a year already. In that year we have moved twice, changed vehicles, gone through Hell and back with the Army, found out and dealt with the many, many changes because of me being pregnant. And now we're settling into a new home and preparing to bring home a baby in 6 weeks or so. Crazy.
Wow. Until I saw it typed in front of me I didn't really realize that there are only 6 weeks left before my due date. And I don't think he's going to wait that long to make his grand entrance. I feel like I have so much to do before he gets here, and yet it seems like I can't really do anything until other things happen first. Does that make sense? I know it will all work itself out, but it's really enough to drive a person nuts.
Speaking of Mr. A.J., he's really been beating me up lately. He seems to think that Momma's bed time is his Party Time. Don't get me wrong, I love feeling him wiggle and roll and kick, because it let's me know he's healthy and doing good in there. But I really wish he would let me sleep a little now, because lord knows I won't be sleeping much later. I can't wait though. I'm beyond excited to meet this little guy and bring him up. I'm also completely terrified, considering I have no idea how to raise children, and have next to no experience with infants. But, if cave women and crack whores can manage to get their babies to adulthood, I'm sure I can too. And I have my wonderful mother right here to help. It'll be a long, hard road, but it's one that I'm looking forward to going down. I've wanted this for a long time, and I'm so happy that it's finally happening. I complain a lot (because let's face it...being pregnant is not the most fun thing in the world), but I truly am overjoyed. Really, I'm getting everything I wanted. I'm married to my best friend, I have the opportunity to be a Mommy and I'm living back home where I belong. I may be huge, hot, uncomfortable, worried about money and other things, but when it comes right down to it and the things that are truly important, life is good.
I suppose I should put the frosting away and try to sleep again. Goodnight, world.
It seems kind of lame to be starting a new post just seconds after I published the first one, but like I said, it's 2 a.m. and I can't sleep.
I've been thinking a lot lately about the passage of time. It amazes me that the same span of time can seem to hugely different depending on the circumstances. For example, a month ago I became a civilian after spending a little over 3 years in the Army. These last 30 days have gone by insanely fast. I can honestly say that they went by faster than ANY month of time while I was still in. It just seems so strange. The last year has gone by fast though. In less than a month Andy and I will have been married for a year already. In that year we have moved twice, changed vehicles, gone through Hell and back with the Army, found out and dealt with the many, many changes because of me being pregnant. And now we're settling into a new home and preparing to bring home a baby in 6 weeks or so. Crazy.
Wow. Until I saw it typed in front of me I didn't really realize that there are only 6 weeks left before my due date. And I don't think he's going to wait that long to make his grand entrance. I feel like I have so much to do before he gets here, and yet it seems like I can't really do anything until other things happen first. Does that make sense? I know it will all work itself out, but it's really enough to drive a person nuts.
Speaking of Mr. A.J., he's really been beating me up lately. He seems to think that Momma's bed time is his Party Time. Don't get me wrong, I love feeling him wiggle and roll and kick, because it let's me know he's healthy and doing good in there. But I really wish he would let me sleep a little now, because lord knows I won't be sleeping much later. I can't wait though. I'm beyond excited to meet this little guy and bring him up. I'm also completely terrified, considering I have no idea how to raise children, and have next to no experience with infants. But, if cave women and crack whores can manage to get their babies to adulthood, I'm sure I can too. And I have my wonderful mother right here to help. It'll be a long, hard road, but it's one that I'm looking forward to going down. I've wanted this for a long time, and I'm so happy that it's finally happening. I complain a lot (because let's face it...being pregnant is not the most fun thing in the world), but I truly am overjoyed. Really, I'm getting everything I wanted. I'm married to my best friend, I have the opportunity to be a Mommy and I'm living back home where I belong. I may be huge, hot, uncomfortable, worried about money and other things, but when it comes right down to it and the things that are truly important, life is good.
I suppose I should put the frosting away and try to sleep again. Goodnight, world.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Introduction of some sort
Well, it's the middle of the night and I can't sleep. Fitting for the beginning of this blog, since 99% of the writing I've done in my lifetime has been written in the witching hour when most everyone else is asleep. I've been toying with the idea of starting a blog for quite a while. I used to write all the time, but haven't for a couple years now. I was going to document this entire pregnancy, but never got around to it. But, this seems as good a time as any to start, so here goes.
I will be 100% brutally honest about whatever I say in this blog. You may laugh, disagree, be offended, think I'm a genius...who knows. I will generally not mention specific people here, but there will be times when it's easy to see who I'm referring to. If you have a problem with that, I'm sorry.
Warning: There will probably be a good amount of venting on here. Certain people (not naming anyone specific, but I know who you are) seem to think that I'm an overly negative person. I have to disagree. I don't think I'm much more a pessimist than the average person, I just happen to be rather vocal about it. It has always been easier for me to express negative feelings more than positive ones. That's just how I am. Venting about things makes me feel better, and keeps my head from exploding. And just because I may not gush about something doesn't mean it doesn't make me happy.
You may think that I'm being very self centered to think that anyone cares to read about what I think. You would be wrong. I really don't care if anyone reads this. If people do, great. If not, oh well. This is really about giving me an outlet for the jumble of thoughts that fill my head at any given point in time. Some of it may be deep and insightful, some may be complete nonsense, and a lot of it will probably seem totally random.
With that, welcome to the blog, and welcome to the craziness in my head :)
I will be 100% brutally honest about whatever I say in this blog. You may laugh, disagree, be offended, think I'm a genius...who knows. I will generally not mention specific people here, but there will be times when it's easy to see who I'm referring to. If you have a problem with that, I'm sorry.
Warning: There will probably be a good amount of venting on here. Certain people (not naming anyone specific, but I know who you are) seem to think that I'm an overly negative person. I have to disagree. I don't think I'm much more a pessimist than the average person, I just happen to be rather vocal about it. It has always been easier for me to express negative feelings more than positive ones. That's just how I am. Venting about things makes me feel better, and keeps my head from exploding. And just because I may not gush about something doesn't mean it doesn't make me happy.
You may think that I'm being very self centered to think that anyone cares to read about what I think. You would be wrong. I really don't care if anyone reads this. If people do, great. If not, oh well. This is really about giving me an outlet for the jumble of thoughts that fill my head at any given point in time. Some of it may be deep and insightful, some may be complete nonsense, and a lot of it will probably seem totally random.
With that, welcome to the blog, and welcome to the craziness in my head :)
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