I do not like today. Nope, not one little bit. I found out my cousin is pregnant. She's due 4 days after I was supposed to be. I feel like the knife that is permanently stuck in my chest got twisted around a few times. I had been doing pretty well at getting back to normal, and now I feel like I'm back at square one.
I'm happy for her, I really am. But it's going to hurt every time she hits a milestone that I should be experiencing as well. Feeling the baby kick for the first time, going for the ultra-exciting 20 week ultrasound.... I won't be doing any of it. I'm totally feeling sorry for myself tonight.
If you need me, I'll be drinking myself (hopefully) numb.
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